Rhonan

Resident asshole, gives zero fucks

Description:

Never, under any circumstance, ask what Rhonan is writing. For your own sake. If you ask, he’ll give you a wide, toothy, strangely charming grin. He’ll sit you down in a chair, or beckon you closer, he’ll shut the door. And with wide, almost manic eyes, he will tell you in excruciating detail everything you never wanted to know. He’ll talk about the research on the Blight, he’ll talk about the origins of Mabari, he’ll talk about himself, or his tea, or why the sky is blue and the grass is green. He’ll start talking and he’ll never stop. And then, in the end, after hours of listening but never getting a chance to speak you will walk away knowing absolutely nothing. You’ll realize you still have no idea what exactly goes into those journals of his. The only thing you’re sure of? You’ll never ask again. Ever.


Up until rather recently, Rhonan has known no life outside of the Circle. A posh, prim and proper Circle from Orlais, but a Circle nonetheless. And Rhonan liked it that way. It was always easy to find him holed up in the library surrounded by piles and piles of text. Not that anyone ever really wanted to find him. It was widely agreed upon by Mage and Templar alike to simply leave him to… whatever it was he did. Sometimes, although he’ll never admit it, even he has no idea what it is he’s doing.

When the Rebellion broke out, Rhonan quickly took the side of the Loyalists. Circles were a good thing, in and of themselves, and as long as you weren’t an idiot they were the safest place to be as a mage. (It definitely didn’t have anything to do with the fact that there was no way he could survive as an apostate.) He had little choice but to move on to the University and continue his studies there.

That’s where the Warden finds him. She’d come looking for someone smart, someone who was ready to get their hands dirty. Everyone pointed her to Rhonan. (It definitely wasn’t just to get rid of him.) She sweet talks him, tells him she has a problem that she needs him to solve. Tells him she’s looking for the smartest guy for the job and that he seems to be it. She promises him infinite resources, access to anything he would need or desire. He can do whatever it takes to find her an answer. There’s only two rules: don’t kill anyone, and don’t experiment on anyone. Sure. He can work with that.


Rhonan is disliked by most everyone. He’s seen as intolerable, but that’s only because he is. He’s especially disliked by the Guard-Captain, Ellanna. Who constantly makes comments about how “he’s got his head stuck so far up his ass he can’t even tell the sun’s up” or “he’s literally the walking embodiment of the void itself.” The two of them are constantly bickering, can never quite see eye to eye. (Rhonan will argue that maybe they could, if she found herself a stool to stand on.) It’s usually best to keep the two of them as separated as possible, because Ellanna is only about two seconds away from punching him in the throat at any given time. The fact that she’s basically become his babysitter is something neither one of them can stand.

Rhonan is possibly one of the most obnoxious people you’ll ever meet. He’s incredibly self obsessed, a terrible flirt, and he never shuts up. He treats everyone as inferior, as less intelligent. Those he respects most are fellow mages whose magic alone makes them at least a little bit superior to those who have none. Despite being almost irresistibly charming when he wants to be, Rhonan’s most proficient talent is making terribly bad decisions. Mostly because he speaks before he finishes his thoughts. It can, at times, get him into rather awkward situations. It’s usually best not to let him talk to strangers. Or anyone, for that matter. If you let him talk he’ll never shut up. He’s angry and volatile and when he gets bored his experiments border on downright dangerous. He’s wickedly intelligent and knows it, and is incredibly ruthless when it comes to his experimenting (which can sometimes border on the insane).

However awful Rhonan may be, he’s actually great to have in a pinch. His constant “well actually” comments may be unbearable, but if you need information he’s the one who has it. And if he doesn’t? He’ll find out, just give him an hour. And despite all of his many, many shortcomings, Rhonan remains incredibly grateful to the Warden. She saw his genius for what it was, saw the potential he had. She saw it in him when no one else did, and because of that, he’ll do whatever she asks.

Bio:

Rhonan

Long Way Down theshannonlewis idlelane